Hello,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling such stress. Your feeling of urgency concerns me. There are many resources out there to support you.
If you are in a life or death situation, please contact emergency services by calling 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. If you are experiencing threats of violence against yourself, you should call the police. Even if there is no immediate threat or risk of physical harm, the people at an ER can make sure you're all right and get you the support you need. Not every provider may understand the needs of people who want to transition, but your safety should be a priority.
A sex change is a complicated, multi-step process that shouldn't be rushed. A licensed mental health provider is usually the best place to start. If you are in Boston, you can call Fenway Health at 617 927-6202 and speak with Aaron. He can refer you to the Transgender Health Team, or other resources, if appropriate.
Please seek support. If a sex change feels like it needs to happen immediately or if you feel like your life is in danger, it's imperative that you seek professional help immediately.
You can also call these national hotlines listed below toll free from anywhere in the US.
The Samaritans
1-888-240-HOPE (4673)
The Trevor Project
1-866-4-U TREVOR (866-488-7368)
The Gay and Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-843-4564
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Helpline
617-267-9001
Toll-free: 888-340-GLBT (888-240-4528)
Peer Listening Line
617-267-2535
Toll-free: 800-399-PEER (800-399-7337)
You can receive help, information, referrals, and support for a range of issues without being judged or rushed into any decision you are not prepared to make. Talk to trained volunteers about safer sex, coming out, where to find gay and transgender-friendly establishments, HIV and AIDS, depression, suicide, and anti-LGBT harassment and violence. No matter what is on your mind, people are available on these hotlines to encourage and ensure you that you are not alone.
Best wishes,
Pat Raney, MD